Intro: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Posers podcast, the place where we skip the fluff. Say the quiet parts out loud and dig into what really matters. This is where photography, psychology, and business collide. I'm Jody, your host, and I'm bringing you my raw takes, hard wins, and a whole lot of unfiltered honesty about what it takes to build a photography business that actually connects and makes money.
So ladies, grab your headphones and get your tits up and your ears open because we are going to build something really incredible together.
All right. Hello, hello, hello. My beautiful posters and welcome back to another episode, the 40th episode of the Posers Podcast. Okay. Today we are going somewhere. We are talking. Transformation, but not the glittery kind, not the like, oh, I believed in [00:01:00] myself and I manifested a million dollars kind. No. We're talking about the kind of transformation that comes from old insecurities, a lot of projecting those insecurities and one very specific dad named Johnny.
And yes, I said his name like Johnny, the whole entire shoot. Okay. But let me back up because I need you to understand where this all comes from. When I was very first starting as a photographer. God, that version of me, I swear I could cry for her. She was trying so hard and she had no business doing half of the things that she said yes to.
But also, if I hadn't done those things, then I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you about them now. So I'm gonna make sure [00:02:00] to put some gratitude in my chest whenever I talk about her. But case in point back then, and we're talking like, you know, 2008 ish, okay. Back then I booked a newborn session.
Now we all know that I do not photograph newborns. I still don't photograph newborns. Not then. Not now, not ever. I legitimately cannot like tap me out as if I am a UFC fighter. Tap me back in whenever that baby is a chubby six month old. Absolutely. But back then I essentially, I was a baby photographer myself.
I was a newborn and I booked this session for. A very affluent client whose home was in a very ritzy country, club guard, gated very well established money seemingly on the leaves of the trees, you know, the [00:03:00] vibe. Okay, so I walk into this house with pro, probably like a basket from Michael's thinking that I am about to create some like baby in a basket bullshit.
Okay? The, it was an era of Anne Geddes. Okay. So baskets and props and things like that galore. All the while my insides are literally panicking because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I didn't have. Any of that, like baby paraphernalia that's required to take photos like that. So, except for my little basket from Michael's, but I've got this like tornado of imposter syndrome spiraling in my chest.
When of course the dad walks in and this man, look, we all know that. Me and the patriarchy [00:04:00] are not besties as it is. And this man, he's a, he was a literal front man for it. Okay. I don't like calling people dicks outright. Maybe I do, but sometimes like in this. Scenario, you gotta call a spade. A spade. He was a dick.
He was a dick to me. He was a dick to his wife. His wife later divorced him. Okay? So honestly, he was a dick to everyone, like breathing oxygen within a five mile radius. But to be fair. I was also probably projecting a lot. I was in a marriage where I didn't feel safe, so any man asking me questions felt like an attack.
It felt like judgment. So maybe it was a little bit of him being a dick, maybe a little bit of me being like very insecure. But this guy, uh, he claimed to be like a photographer. He probably was, who knows? Why am I saying he [00:05:00] claimed to be? He said, that he was like, you know, a photography enthusiast.
Uh, but it really came off as like, the way he was talking to me about it was like as if he was better than me, as if he was about to tell me that my ISO was set wrong. It probably was. But whatever. That is not the lesson we are talking about here today, but it was that kind of energy. Okay. So every time he talked, I just shrunk and felt incompetent.
I felt like I didn't have a voice, like I didn't have authority, I didn't have knowledge, and it stuck with me for years. Like I wish that I could say like, oh yeah, you know. Snapped outta that real quick, like, you know, I figured out my posing method or I figured out whatever, and like that just wasn't an issue for me.
No, absolutely not. I lived inside of moments like that in my business for. A [00:06:00] very, very long time. If, if a dad questioned me on, on a shoot, I folded. If a dad refused to do something, I would panic if a dad made a face. I changed my entire plan just to avoid the conflict and. Like, I'd also leave the shoot being like, kind of like I was just a second ago about that guy being like, oh my God, Ew.
Why is she married to him? Like, eh, he's such a dick. He's whatever. But really, now that I'm thinking about it, it's like, no, Jodi, you actually just didn't know how to manage that. You didn't know how to manage them. And honestly, it wasn't even about like the photography. It was. My nervous system, it was my marriage.
It was all the things that I hadn't healed yet. But fast forward, obviously, through years of learning, gaining confidence, studying psychology, learning human behavior, divorcing the man who put a lot of that insecurity there to begin with, [00:07:00] and. We find ourselves at a completely different scenario that happened just last week and last week.
I was on a shoot and something happened that I was like, wait, hold on. Who is she? Like, not that I'm ever not confident on shoots. I've done this long enough. I have a ton of confidence. I know exactly what I'm doing, but. In this scenario, it was very much so apparent just how much of a transformation had happened.
I was literally flirting with a dad named Johnny in a parking lot like we were in a rom-com. Okay? But I need to, let me just tell you about this shoot. Okay? This family, now, I've already been inside their home because the mom did. A 40 over 40 shoot with me and I went to her house for her gallery reveal.
Her house is. [00:08:00] Stunning. You walk in and like, it's like your soul becomes more expensive just by standing in their entryway. Okay. It is gorgeous. And I met her husband very briefly while I was there. He seemed nice enough he was running out the door, like trying to get to work, like needed something from his wife at some point during that whole interaction.
But that really was like all that I. Saw of him. It was not intimidating at all. Just a lot of like cool guy energy. Okay. So I wasn't expecting anything to be like wildly different than that on the shoot. But I do know that with most rich men, there's going to be a lot of power struggles and a lot of.
L let's just say there's a lot of the feeling like the dad's usually going to try to own the room and make the rules, right? Well, for this shoot, I [00:09:00] walk up to the back of their, of their truck while, while they're all filling out. And Johnny, I just, I can't get over that. His name is Johnny. And I said it like that the whole entire time and I just loved it.
Johnny is. Shirtless at the back of his truck. His truck is gorgeous. It's like black on black, very like, I don't know, very chic of a truck, right? But Johnny is shirtless, truly shirtless, just casually standing there, like changing tops as if he's in the middle of like. A Cologne ad or something, right?
So obviously I am, me and I immediately start flirting with him. I give him di Nephron energy. I am playful, yet professional at the same time, but also strategic because Witty Banter is literally my sixth love language and also my number one psychology tool for [00:10:00] disarming men. And he gives me a little chuckle.
He laughs with me a little bit. I turn my attention and I gaw over the mom. I gawk over the oldest daughter, their younger daughter. I slide a really healthy layer of ego stroking over each one of them so that they all become like a little bit softer in my hands. They're not melting like butter yet, okay.
But we are just getting started. So we walk over to the shooting location and this is actually the very first time that I've ever photographed this family. So. I give them a little warmup as we walk over to the table that I have set up with a whole spread of like snacks and drinks that are out for them.
And to be honest, this presentation. In and of itself is a huge piece of psychology that I use. They're wowed by it, which is exactly what is supposed to happen. It tells dad too that this shoot is a different level than anything he's ever done before. Okay. It's also dripping in [00:11:00] reciprocity, so as they're all like putting their stuff down at the table, grabbing some snacks, the kids are stoked, and I say kids, but they're older kids.
Okay. They're stoked. They, you know, grab a Sprite, whatever. So I open up and I talk to them a little bit while I'm setting my camera, and I just tell them the basics of how I approach the shoot because they've never shot with me before. And I'm really trying to make sure that I'm telling them that the most important thing that I photograph that day are their relationships, right?
Not their outfits, not the location, like all of that. Stuff is fluff. All of that stuff makes it pretty. But the most important thing is that I wanna capture how they interact. Whenever nobody's watching, I wanna draw out the way that they cuddle up for a movie or how they hug in their kitchen. Right? And immediately, I'm telling you immediately, all of them moan.
I'm not kidding. Eye rolls. I've got audibles, I've [00:12:00] got audible groans, and Johnny. My dear Johnny, hold on. You need to know that Johnny is this gorgeous man. He is maybe 6 2, 6 3, very tall, very dark, very handsome. He's very wealthy, very stylish. He is used to getting his way. So I've given my spiel and Johnny says, and I quote.
He says, yeah, we don't do those kind of photos, we just take serious photos. Let's get this done.
And my eyebrows raise a little bit. And I sort of like side look over to mom to see whether or not she's clocking my expression. And she is, of course, I have like one finger like up on my lip and I just like give her a little like. Wink and a side smile. While I'm thinking like, okay, Johnny, challenge accepted, honey, hold [00:13:00] my beer, because then you, you wanna give me a challenge like that?
And I'm like, I'm determined because I have. Studied men. I have studied men like him. I know how to disarm them. I know how to get them to shift from tough guy to wait. Hold on. This is actually fun guy, right? I know what works. So I start pulling out every tool that I've got and I lay them on thick. I slide my hand onto Johnny's shoulders.
I start to pose them. And I pull my hand back kind of quickly and I joke excuse me, Johnny, you brought that bicep out into my desert. Like, excuse me, there are kids around Johnny. Don't do that to me. Uh, it is a compliment and joke sandwich being served to Johnny left and right. I, the mom and the daughter, I fix their hair.
I gasp [00:14:00] over how gorgeous they are. Click, click, click, snap, snap, snap. I give them their serious pose and I gawk all the way through it. I tell them that they're like a goer ad right in the making and. They heat this all up. I kill that pose. I set up another, I kill that pose. I let them get the serious out of the way, and then I pull the kids for each one of their solos knowing that dad's gonna be watching over my shoulder, right?
I'm watching him, I'm noticing him. He's cracking just a tiny bit every single time that I am setting his kids up in a way that he knows looks really great. So. He's starting to have like little smiles here, little smirks there, a little bit of like, oh yeah, that looks cool over my shoulder. I can hear him saying this stuff.
And then. I have mom and the three kids and they're like posed and taking a photo [00:15:00] and he snaps this photo with his phone over my shoulder and he goes, oh my God, this is my new screensaver that is. So good. And without missing a beat, I turn with a huge smile on a sassy laton and I'm like, excuse me, that'll be $4,000.
Johnny. Thank you very much. And I swear this man falls out of hi. If he was sitting in a chair, he would've fallen out of his chair. Okay. Laughing. He tells me that I'm too much. He chuckles. He's kind of like walking away from me, shaking his head right? Immediately following though, it's his turn to take a photo with the three kids.
And I look at him and I say, all right, Johnny. All right, Johnny. I've done it your way and I gave you your Vogue cover, but now. Let's do it my way a little bit. Just try it. Like what could it hurt? Right? And he agrees. And so I'm like, okay, great. I want you to put your daughter on your shoulder. [00:16:00] And he immediately box and his defenses go back up a little bit and he says, no way.
Absolutely not. I'm never doing that. Old Jodi would've folded immediately. Actually, no old Jodi would've choked in the parking lot and never would've been able to even ask for such a pose. But. This version of me looked at him with the biggest smile and a sassy ego and a shoulder Bob and I go, listen here, Johnny, I know you're usually the boss in the room, but I don't know if you've noticed yet or not.
You are in my house now and he dies laughing and I die laughing, and he gives in. Daughter goes up on the shoulder and the whole entire shoot changes. From that point on, his kids soften. And I say [00:17:00] kids again, but I'm talking about like 19, 20-year-old the son and the daughter, and then a younger daughter too.
His kids came in with that same sort of like really stiff kind of energy. And so the minute he cracked and he softened, the kids did too. They even ended up doing, uh, a photo. The mom wanted a photo of them, like all sitting in the sand together and. Earlier in the shoot, everybody had sworn that they would never do it.
Like absolutely not. The daughter had to be on a flight right after that. She's like, I don't want sand all over me. And like the sun was like, no, no, absolutely not. I'm not shooting the sand. You know all of that. Right. But by the time we got to that point. They basically volunteered themselves to walk over and sit into the sand.
I almost passed out. I didn't even have to ask that much, but at the end of the shoot, the wildest part is that at the end of the shoot, Johnny walks up and he throws his arm around my shoulders. And he [00:18:00] goes, there's something about you. You are so disarming and I don't know what it is, but you make me wanna do the things that you ask me to do.
And I mouth a gap and I'm standing there and I'm like, yeah, Johnny, I know, like I'm saying this in my head, I'm not saying this to him, but I'm like. I know it's on purpose. Like I've studied your whole identity. I've studied your whole gender. Okay. And I'm driving home. I'm talking to Brian and I'm telling him the whole story and it just kind of slapped me in my face whenever I realized this.
But rolling an objective dad on a photo shoot is the exact same process as as making sure that you own the room in your sales meetings. By disarming the client and using disruptors anytime that they give you pushback. Shooting psychology is the same [00:19:00] psychology as sales. Your photo shoot is your sales room.
The sales starts the moment that they meet you. It's the way you talk, the way that you laugh, the way you lead, the way you disarm people, especially the ones who tend to guard. The entire family's energy, and if you don't understand the psychology of every member of the family, like the dad, the mom, the teen, the toddler.
All of it, then you're missing out on thousands of dollars in the backend sales because posing is not about posing. Posing is about people. It's about the brain, it's about trust, it's about connection. It's about turning the logic off and turning the emotion on. And whenever you can disarm the hardest person in the room, then you win.
The whole entire room, every single time. And here's the thing that I really want you to understand, because it [00:20:00] obviously wasn't an accident that Johnny cracked. It wasn't just charm and sarcasm and me catching him shirtless in the parking lot, right? That was a bonus. That was a plus for sure, but no, I was using psychology the entire time.
I have an entire bonus video and a download for this. You can access it in the show notes, but I'm going to give you just the stuff that I used on Johnny here. Without him even realizing it. I started priming him. Like whenever I walked up and made a joke about him changing shirts in the parking lot, that wasn't me just being cheeky.
Of course, am I also flirty all the time? Yes. But that was me making sure to notice him and turning it into something fun that's positive priming. Okay. The flirting, the joking, the GQ comments, all of it. Let him know that we were going to have a lot of fun together. And that I wasn't [00:21:00] some meek and quiet photographer who was going to, you know, pose him awkward and take some cheesy, like JC Penny shots of his family out in the desert.
Right? Whenever we started the shoot, I showed him my chops. I gave him what he wanted. I gave him some vogue poses. That was. That was an ego stroke disguised as me being compliant, yet also showing him that I'm competent. The thing is, is men show up to photo shoots already bracing. They don't wanna look stupid, they don't want to be uncomfortable, they don't want to be forced into something.
So when Johnny said the whole, like we only do serious poses line, I didn't roll my eyes. I didn't, well, I did, but I didn't let him see me roll my eyes. Okay. I didn't push back. I just let him be serious for a minute. I let him have his [00:22:00] dignity and that alone relaxed him enough to let me start to sort of creep in around the edges.
And every time I made a comment like. Oh, Johnny, uh, you know what you're talking about. Look at this. Look at this pose. This looks so good. Are you kidding me? Do, do y'all birth models for a living, my God. Or like Johnny. Look how gorgeous they are. Look at this family that you made. I was priming his brain to associate every little moment with something good that he did, not something good that I was doing, but letting him know like, oh, Johnny, you're the one who wanted me to shoot this way.
Oh, Johnny, you're the one who wanted these serious photos. Look how great they are. He did that. Okay. Johnny thought that he was laughing at me being ridiculous, saying all of my silly one liners, but what he didn't know was that I was actually relaxing his nervous system and [00:23:00] then came the big one, reciprocity.
Okay. Uh, the emotional kind of reciprocity I kept on making him look. Good. I kept on calling him handsome. I kept on letting him overhear me compliment the way that he stood laughing at his comments. Those were like little emotional deposits. And the second that you give a man something, even if it's just a laugh, there is an instinct inside of that man that needs, not wants, needs biologically to give something back.
And I designed it. So that his something back that he could give me just happened to be his cooperation. Okay. Then we're gonna talk about locus of control, which is my secret love language with men. I never took his power, not once, even whenever I wanted that shoulder. I did not bark orders. I always made it feel [00:24:00] like it was a choice and it was playful and it was fun.
Men don't always need to be in charge, but Johnny did okay, but men also need to feel like they're not being trapped. They're just like toddlers in that way. Okay. Which is why whenever I walked over and sort of smiled and tilted my head and laughed while I was like. Johnny, I know you're usually the boss, but you know you're in my house now, right?
I knew I had to, had to deliver that line without flinching, but I also had to deliver it laced with humor. It needed to be firm, but flirty. Strong, but playful. And it worked. He laughed. He didn't get defensive. Because I had built up all of that psychological runway and he trusted me enough to let me finally take over.
And [00:25:00] the last thing, the one that sealed it, was that I was quick and I was confident in my direction. Fast and confident speech. This is one of the biggest thing that photographers miss whenever. I was directing him. I wasn't timid, I wasn't slow. I wasn't cushy. I wasn't a apologetic. I didn't give the like, do you think you could maybe like, Hmm, does this feel okay?
No, I spoke fast, clear, decisive, but warm. Like a woman who knows exactly what she's doing, and this is so important because. Men need that competence. Okay? Women don't. Women read this as being bossy and assertive, and I talk to women completely differently, but men need to see you as competent if you're ever going to get any respect from them.
Also, my use of psychology on dad. That's why the [00:26:00] whole entire family cracked open. That's why the kids loosened. That's why he threw his arm around me at the end. That's why he's telling Brian like, oh my God, there's just something about your wife. Right? No, Johnny, there isn't something. There's a whole psychological blueprint, and here's the wild part because as I'm walking back to my car after that shoot, still like high off of cracking Johnny like he was this.
Human egg, right? I had this moment where I realized like. Oh my God. I didn't just pose that man. I sold that man, not money-wise, but I sold him on participating in the shoot. I sold him my energy and that's whenever it clicked, because disarming people and using disruptors. Are so important during the shoot and they're just as important in the sales room [00:27:00] or in cl talks about disruptors in his book pitch Anything.
It's a really, really, really hard book to get through. It's a lot of toxic bro energy, but intentional pattern interruptions. They snap someone out of their rigid analytical, I'm in control. Brain and drop them into a place of emotion. And that's literally what happened with Johnny. Every joke I made, every compliment, every like little sarcastic, like, excuse me, that'll be $4,000 Johnny, every time I poked at him.
Those are disruptors. They're like little. Emotional lightning bolts. He'd start to tighten up and then boom, there's a disruptor. He'd fall back into seriousness. Boom, there's a disruptor. He'd drift into analyzing, being like, why is she having us stand here? Like, what are you doing? This pose? And then boom, another disruptor.
This is exactly what I would teach in sales. You [00:28:00] cannot move people with logic. You cannot influence someone who is in. A guarded mode. You cannot create buy-in if their brain is still scanning you for threats. You need to shock the system, not aggressively, not in a manipulative way, but playfully, unexpectedly, humanly.
That's what I was doing with Johnny Disruptor after disruptor, after disruptor. Your sales room is full of rigid brained clients, just like the beginning of a shoot. They're, they're thinking about budgets, they're thinking about logistics. They're thinking about numbers. And if you don't break that pattern, they'll stay stuck in the logic brain the entire time.
And logic doesn't make purchases. Logic buys a couple digitals and runs back home. Okay? Emotion makes purchases emotion buys the 30 by [00:29:00] 45 frame that they hang up in their foyer emotion buys the. Oh my God. I never thought we'd print something this big, but I need it. Emotion buys that, not logic and emotion only comes whenever you disrupt the pattern long enough to pull them out of their rigid thinking and into the feeling that they had during the photo shoot.
That's the connection, Johnny, on the shoot. A dad in the sales room are the exact same man with the exact same brain reacting to the exact same principles. Also, this brings up a huge point that your photo shoot is your sales room. The whole thing is one long psychological runway leading to the moment where they finally see the images and say like, oh my God, we actually look like that [00:30:00] family.
We look like that family, the family. That people post the family who loves each other, we actually look like them and we want that. They don't get there on their own. You have to help them. And the reason that I was able to do this with Johnny so easily is because I've trained myself four years to read the micro.
To drop disruptors like breadcrumbs to break stiff energy. The moment that it forms to speak fast, to move fast, to lead fast, to confidently redirect the moment anyone gets stuck in that rigid brain zone. This is why my posing method works. This is why I can take a serious family who doesn't wanna do anything that I say and turn them into real humans who actually laugh.
In front of your camera because influence is, influence is influence. Whether it's a photo shoot in the blazing sun or the sales room in your studio, you're [00:31:00] working with the same brain and the same emotional architecture, and whenever you know how to disarm it. You can sell anything. You can sell trust, connection, memories, art albums, heirlooms, without ever feeling like you're selling 'cause you're just leading the same way that I led Johnny straight out of his rigid brain and into a place where he finally.
Genuinely had fun. And here's the thing, once you see how connected it all is, you can't unsee it. You start noticing exactly where clients tighten up. You start noticing every rigid brain moment. You start noticing. Where you normally step back when you actually needed to step in and you start realizing like, oh my God, I've been trying to pose bodies when what I really need to be posing is their brain chemistry and that psychology.
That's actually, you know what, there's actually [00:32:00] so much more. Of this inside of the bonus video, because I didn't even use all of it on Johnny, but it's all spelled out step by step so that you can literally do what I did with Johnny, with every man, whoever steps onto your shoot, and it's completely free.
Grab it in the, in the show notes. That download is also available inside of the posing method, along with another download that details all the developmental levels of kids and how to influence their behavior at every single age, too. Okay. The posing method isn't opposing guide. It's not a list of things to memorize.
It's not like. 50 cookie cutter prompts and a prayer, right? It's, it's an actual formula. It's the pattern that changes their nervous system in real time because of dopamine, because of oxytocin. And it's the difference between taking pretty pictures. And creating people who will spend [00:33:00] thousands of dollars because the experience actually meant something to them.
I promise you, the day that you watch a dad throw his head back laughing because you were the first person who ever made him feel comfortable on camera that day, you'll never fear men being on photo shoots again. You will never. Fear the sales room with a man in it. Again, you'll never fear being the authority again, because the transformation isn't just in your clients and what you teach them out on a shoot.
It's actually in you. All right, my beautiful posers. That's it, that's episode 40. Uh, I love you. I adore you, and I hope, actually, I hope that the men in your life are only stiff in the way that you want them to be. Okay.
All right. Bye for now, friends.
Outro: [00:34:00] Okay, so that is a wrap on this episode of the Posers Podcast. If you loved it, please subscribe, rate, and review because honestly, algorithms are needier than all of our ex-boyfriends combined. And ladies, I need all the help I can get. If you've got thoughts, questions, love letters, even hate mail, please send them my way.
I actually read every single one of them. So until next time, stapled, stay messy and don't let the bullshit win. Tits up. Ears open and go build something. Incredible. Bye for now, friends.
