Intro: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Posers podcast, the place where we skip the fluff. Say the quiet parts out loud and dig into what really matters. This is where photography, psychology, and business collide. I'm Jody, your host, and I'm bringing you my raw takes, hard wins, and a whole lot of unfiltered honesty about what it takes to build a photography business that actually connects and makes money.
So ladies, grab your headphones and get your tits up and your ears open because we are going to build something really incredible together.
Episode Intro: Welcome back to the Posers Podcast and part two of my conversation with the one and only Darcy osa. If you haven't listened to part one yet, go hit play on that first, because we covered everything from editing secrets to the trends that we really hope would die a slow and painful death. And today we are taking it even deeper and talking [00:01:00] about the artistry of finding your voice.
What it really takes to shift your identity as a creative entrepreneur and how inspiration outside of photography can really fuel your best work. Let's dive in.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Well, and here's the thing is it's fun to develop that. Like I think the good and bad of an artist is we're always looking to be better and we're always looking to like push the envelope. Like, what could I do differently? How could I bring more life?
How could I bring more editorial? I really love editorial images and ones that just tell a really big story, just, you know, with one click and it's, it's the journey, right? We're not, nobody should be a luxury editor two years into their business. I mean, you could be, but it does take time to, to get to know yourself.
And I think so many people wanna rush the process and you can rush it. My business actually grew really, really, really quickly. But I, but I think it's [00:02:00] because at the beginning I just sort of, I was older when I started, so I feel like I. Knew exactly what I wanted to go through and who I wanted to be.
So yeah. But the process is really fun too. So we're not saying any of these things to make you go back to your page and be like, oh my gosh, I'm never gonna book luxury clients. It's like, look at it with this beautiful eye of what do I really love and what do I have to say as a photographer? Because if you don't know that, you will blend in to look like everybody else for sure.
Jodi: Yeah, for sure. You said a little bit ago that you could look back on, what did you say, 2012
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm-hmm.
Jodi: love the edit that you had? I'm not sure I could go all the way back that far, but I do think that my brand has been very cohesive since probably about 2016, 2017. So like, what's that math? I can't do that math.
D'Arcy Benincosa: In nine years. Yeah.
Jodi: years,
D'Arcy Benincosa: Eight years.
Jodi: which I think is good. Like if you can go back almost a decade and think like I would, I am still so proud of these [00:03:00] images and I wouldn't, if I had to like share this gallery now, would I be embarrassed of it? But. If you scroll back really, really far into JN photography and you get back into 2013, 2014, all of that, I will, I was making every single one of the mistakes that we're talking about now, but I also do think that that was a little bit more in style back then.
And so like then the question comes up of like, how much do you follow trends and how much do you stay true to yourself and how much do you stay like timeless and classic, because I'm not a wedding photographer anymore, but if I was. I would be so irrelevant because I do not follow, like the trends in regards to like the tilt shift that's happening right now. I don't follow trends in regards to like making the background the thing that's in focus and having the people like all blurry. [00:04:00] Like I don't follow, I, I'm not in love with that trend. I don't, the whole flash photography look, that's very prevalent right now in wedding photography. Like I was still there, I'm not sure that I would like jump on that bandwagon and do it.
And so then it really, I don't know. It begs the question of like, if you don't keep up with these trends, will your business dry up because you're not staying relevant?
D'Arcy Benincosa: No.
Jodi: She said, no, everybody
D'Arcy Benincosa: No. Everybody who was in it when I started, they don't do a lot of those things. But I think you could also play with them and see, is there a way I could do it? The, like, I don't, I don't like a crooked horizon. I just don't think I'll, I ever will. It just doesn't sit right with me. It, it looks amateur to me.
Even though I get, I get the trend, I get that it's meant to be fun and young and whatever, and, but I [00:05:00] don't photograph a lot of people in their twenties. My clients are usually thirties, maybe late twenties. But yeah, I, I, no, I don't think, I think when you're a beautiful artist and you're able to capture the essence of someone and you're able to like, really understand, you know, it's like saying to Annie Leibovitz like, you need to do the tilt, tilt trend.
No, she doesn't. She is such an artist and she knows how to set a setting. To me, I studied directing in film at NYU, so I interned on Broadway. I was directing musicals, and so that's what I was doing before I shifted into wedding photography, and I just started approaching wedding photography, like a, like a play, like a Broadway musical.
I'm like, okay, this is our setting. How do I want the setting to be? I think you're setting like how you, how you. Create a space is really, really important and you can move things around and have the eye. I like watching a [00:06:00] lot of movies like if you guys haven't watched Belfast by Kenneth Brano. It's all in black and white, and the way he sets each, each scene is set in the most beautiful artistic way.
That, to me, speaks volumes. Above a, the black, the backgrounds now and focus, and the people are not like I, it just speaks volume, like your composition, the way you understand light. To me, if you are a master at those things, you will always be an in-demand photographer and you can choose to try out a trend or not.
You know, my second shooter, I don't do the heavy flash at receptions. I still like, I still shoot a lot of black and white film at my receptions because I like the old Hollywood kind of vibe. But
Jodi: Mm-hmm.
D'Arcy Benincosa: does it for fun, you know, she, she's good at it and we'll add a few. I don't, I don't ever really love them, but, you know, I, I add a few because if that's what's going on in trend, I don't see a problem [00:07:00] with my second shooter doing some of it and putting it in the gallery.
If that's what's. On trend. It's just, it's not what I'll probably showcase when I'm publishing it and, and things like that. Though, I could, I mean, I like my clients to have some options and I'm not against like, I mean, I am against the tilt shift unless they're running and it's just a blur of the shoe.
But I don't like a, I don't like a tilted horizon, so I'm more, I, to me it's more about like composition lighting, telling a story, improving that instead of just, if it, if it's a trend on TikTok, I'm like, okay, well, everybody's doing it. What can, how can I be more of an artist? Because I do think the only way you get paid really big budget is when people are in awe of you and see you as an artist, not a photographer.
That's when they're paying you 30, 40, $50,000, 60, a hundred to come and photograph their day because it's you, your reputation, and your artistry. Not so much like the [00:08:00] trends.
Jodi: Yeah, and I, I think that speaks directly into like you're more in the wedding world. I'm more in the portrait world, but it speaks directly to that in the portrait world too, that when you are sought after, when you are coveted as a photographer in your town, who is going to create. Gorgeous imagery for your clients, then it's the same idea that they're going, they feel as though they're creating art with you.
They want that artwork to be on their walls and for us portrait photographers, that's whenever we get into like 20,000, 30,000, $40,000 sales is because you are looked at with that sort of authority and that sort of demand and that sort of like, I know I can't, other than the word covet, like that's what I feel like I'm still working on creating and making sure that that's my focus in my business is that I remain at a place where people are clamoring to get into my studio and to work [00:09:00] with me.
So I think even though your wedding world. I'm portrait world. The same exact like, understanding of the artistry of how you're editing, what you're creating, what you're putting together that is going to determine how much people are gonna pay in order to have you. But I think you, you hit on something that leads me straight into my next point and whenever you're talking about, like, you know, watching movies and studying art and really like looking to see what you love about art in that kind of way.
And I, and it begs the question like, do you think that photo, uh, photographers could be taught that kind of style or taught that kind of artistry, or do you feel like it's something that's just kind of like innately like born into you and you either have it or you don't have it?
D'Arcy Benincosa: No. Oh my gosh. I would never say you have it or you don't have it. I think we have natural inclination, so I, I think everybody's doing healing and inner child work right now. So if you [00:10:00] go back to when you were a kid, what did you love? And like, if you loved storytelling and you loved putting, you know, playing.
And for me, if you have a draw to storytelling, which I think is what photography is about, it's what writing poetry is about. Words. Like, I think if you have that draw or you just really look at your world, I do think photographers look at the world in a different way. My, my oldest sister is an accountant.
She does not see the world like I do. Like when they come to lunch at my house, I've got these big ceramic bowls and I play everything. And the presentation is really important to me because beauty is really, really important to me. All you have to do is walk through my house to see like the art I've curated over the years from different countries.
And so. But I grew up very heathen. Like I grew up in this, my parents had no sense of style or taste. Like our house never had matching furniture. Nobody ever like looking at my [00:11:00] upbringing, you wouldn't think. And I, I did. Like, I always felt bad that my sister got married before I really understood this world because her bouquet was just like a ball of roses, you know?
It was just like a round ball of roses. And now that I know what I know about florals and I didn't know at the time, I didn't know what a wedding. I mean, she was, she was classic, she had a classic style. But I look back at it and I'm like, oh, I, I could have done so much better now. But that was back when I was just first getting started.
I do think. It can be taught to most. I think there are a few, like people who just need to cut loose and run or just, you know, do, do, do some photo shoots that, you know, if they still wanna do suitcases in a field on a couch, there's a market for that. But I, I do think taste on some level can be taught, but you have to.
Want it. It can't be a force, like if you're naturally drawn towards making [00:12:00] things beautiful, making a person look their most beautiful, making somebody feel, you know, if you are drawn to interacting with humans in that way, then yes, I do think you can. But it does take study like anything. I mean, I love, I love study.
I study great photographers. I think we all do. If you don't have like a book by Richard Avedon in your house, what are you doing? You know, like looking at his old work and, and things like that. It's. It's important to look at the masters because not to, and then do copy them for a while. I think at the very beginning you are kind of trying to copy others.
I know that might sound bad, but I would look at, he's long dead, Avedon doesn't care. Like I would look at some of his work and try and recreate what he was doing because the way he has the lines of a woman's body were very, very powerful and very distinct and they're very different than just like having a lady pose with her hand on her cheek on a desk, like right, like it, it's art.
And so I do think it's good to [00:13:00] mimic the masters a bit and play with it and see what you can create with a human. I'm kind of going off, but yes, of course it can be taught if you have a natural inclination to it.
Jodi: Yeah. I think that that's the key point is that it can be taught, but the person has to be willing to learn it too. Like I think that there's there's a lot to be said. Me and you seem as though we grew up exactly the same. I grew up very poor. I grew up on a farm like literally building tree houses. Talked about it on the podcast. Before I was feral as a child, there was nothing about me that is like who I am now, but, and my parents didn't care about design. Nobody in my family cared about it in that regard. And like house that I was in until we. Until I think that my parents maybe lost their jobs.
I was really young and we had to move in with my grandmother and my grandmother loved interior design, absolutely loved it. And she was [00:14:00] never like a professional at either one of them, but she also loved photography. And she would take her little 35 millimeter like point and shoot film camera. And she would photograph all of the flowers in her
D'Arcy Benincosa: Oh,
Jodi: and she would photograph while she's driving down the highway, she drove buses to New York to New Mexico, like back and forth. And she would take photos of the sunset out of her windshield,
D'Arcy Benincosa: my.
Jodi: she was driving big buses. then she would come back from these big long road trips and she would sit us all down and we all had to sit down and look at every single like Polaroid, not Polaroid, but every single like film photo that she took of these sunsets.
And we were, we called her G Gruner, and we were like, Gruner, stop it. Right? But at some point like that just started to sort of like. Ooze into me. And I started to really pay attention to like how she was designing her houses and what she was doing with her rooms. And she would take these furniture items and get them reupholstered into like [00:15:00] the most immaculate grandmother couch you've ever seen with like the floral tapestries and like all of that sort of stuff. But that's where I started to learn about like art and design and things like that. And it stuck with me in that kind of way that I still wanna be learning. I still wanna be looking at art. I still wanna be studying art. I still wanna be moving my business forward in regards to the artistry that I'm creating.
And I don't know that, I don't know that every photographer's out there wants to put in that kind of time in order to move their A, the actual artistry of their business versus moving. The needle of the financial side of their business. It's like everybody, here's my
D'Arcy Benincosa: Hmm.
Jodi: wrapped up into one sentence. Everybody wants to say, I wanna be a luxury photographer, or I wanna make 10 or 20 or $30,000 in order to do it, but not necessarily wanna study the art that would get them there.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm. And the people skills and the communication, it's so much more than just [00:16:00] about the photos at that stage of the game. It's so much more about client experience too. But I just, I love what you said. You know, my grandmother was a painter. Each of his kids have one of her paintings in our house. But I, the way I learned that I didn't like just the round rose bouquet, is I started hanging out with my friend who was becoming a florist, and I watched her create these very wild, organic centerpieces that really spoke to me.
And I remember leading a workshop to Japan, and I got in touch with like a very famous Ichibana florist man. I don't know what his real title was, but we went and had an I, I think I'm saying it right, the ichibana, you know, do you know what that is? That very Japanese floral. Okay. It's a very. Specific Japanese floral arrangement that are very about the shape and it's not about a lot of flowers.
And we took that class. I just love learning from other artists the way he talked about flowers and the way he had a structure and the, [00:17:00] and the prompts he gave us to create something that wasn't just a typical bouquet or a typical centerpiece, and that we were really telling a different story and that there should be space between the flowers and all of these things.
I think each of us going, like, I've gone and taken myself to a floral workshop just for fun, or at the very beginning of my career, I flew out to LA and learned from this very famous fashion photographer. I didn't really wanna be a fashion photographer, but I wasn't sure, and he was about to retire. I mean, he was using a camera from Dorothea Lang.
Like it was just, you know, all of these, all of this history and his wealth of knowledge. Astounded me inspired me. It helped me form my, it helped me form how to use light in a different way. So I do think one of the ways we don't have to just be in a room alone trying to pour over a book and see if we can teach ourselves.
It's also about getting out among other artists that, [00:18:00] and, and maybe not always in the wedding workshop space. I mean, I shouldn't say this 'cause I'm hosting, I'm hosting two to Italy next year and they're gonna be amazing. So come to those that will have, we'll have so much art, we're gonna bring in old Nonas and have them make us pasta.
But but I do think sometimes going outside of where you would normally go to learn about art or storytelling, like go take, I, I, and I went to a. Storytelling conference in Florence in 2019. I ended up meet meeting, I, I actually got hired to do the photography, but she let me sit in on all the classes and, well, actually I was gonna book it and then I emailed her and said, do you need a photographer?
And can I do that for some ticket and some other stuff. But you, we have the most marketable skill you guys can get in anywhere if you just offer to take photos for people. But just learning how to use words and things like that too, I think it's really important for us. To, well, if it is important to you, it's important for me to learn and grow and bring more beauty into my life.
And I really do love excellence and I [00:19:00] love becoming really good at something. I think I did learn that a lot when I was in Japan. I've spent a lot of time in Japan and they're just not, it's good to also get out of America. 'cause in America we do have that. Make money, make money, produce, produce, hustle, hustle, hustle.
And listen, I've made a lot of money. I do produce, I do hustle, but it's really good to get out of that and just go create too.
Jodi: Yeah. And I think that even if, like, even if finances are limited, even if you can't get yourself into these rooms, even if you can't, you know, fly across to Japan and take a, a floral class in that kind of way, like, I know still like the inspiration that you're putting in front of you every single day. Like if you looked at my Instagram feed and who I follow, like I don't follow a ton of photographers. I follow a ton of interior designers. I follow a ton of sculptors because I just, watching those videos fascinates me. And then I follow a ton of like, business oriented people, right? So like, just being [00:20:00] mindful of like what you're consuming and how you're growing and how that impacts the art that you're creating is really important too.
Just even on that like micro scale.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah, mine is celebrity gossip because that is my guilty pleasure. But I agree with you. I think
Jodi: a lot of bravo. I have a lot of bravo
D'Arcy Benincosa: I don't, I don't,
Jodi: that.
D'Arcy Benincosa: uh, and people decorating cupcakes really helps me alleviate stress. I don't know why. I just love watching them decorate a cupcake over and over and over again. The swirl. The swirl. The swirl.
Jodi: I go a little bit more towards decorating cookies.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm,
Jodi: like the ones that I can do
D'Arcy Benincosa: yes.
Jodi: it's just,
D'Arcy Benincosa: People are, but I love, it's mesmerizing, but I agree. I do think not consuming your competitors' work is really helpful.
Jodi: Yeah.
D'Arcy Benincosa: and then giving yourself some personal projects that have nothing to do with what you do for money, I think is just so good.
Jodi: Ooh, this brings up, this wasn't even like on my ticket, this wasn't on the roster for today, but like, if somebody was just like, say they're in their third [00:21:00] year of business or so, and they're really struggling with like, finding their style, finding their editing style, which is what we were talking about mostly today. Like, what's the top three things that you would say, like, make sure you're honing into this. Like what would, what I, I'm putting you on the spot, so if you can't come up with three, that's okay. But like, what are some of those important things? Like you just said, make sure you're not following your competitors.
Like make sure that you're keeping like fresh in regards to just other types of art or whatever. Like what would you say is like most important thing for people to be doing?
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah. Actually this brings up a really good thing I could give your audience that I put together. So I have a brand word bank for photographers. It's like five pages along of all of these words. And I challenge everybody who works with me to narrow it down to three. Most people can narrow it down to seven, and then I help 'em narrow it down to three.
So you know, like if we would look at somebody like India, Earl, we would say her work is very organic [00:22:00] and wild and feminine. Those are three words. You take your three words or we look at Elizabeth Messina ethereal you know, art Luminous, right? So it would be three different words, and we can almost look at every big photographer and sort of narrow their work down to three words.
And when you have all these words in front of you, I spent hours gathering all these words and putting 'em in one place. Because if you can put 'em into those three words one of my words is intimate, and I noticed that a lot of photographers, so I guess this will move on to point number two. They photograph the same distance away from their subject.
It's usually six feet. Ironically, this was even long before COVID, but they usually stay about six feet away and photograph from there. They never, some of my signature photos are just a very close up because my word is intimate. One of my favorite photos I ever took is just the woman's lip and the man's lips, like a.
Almost touching in the blackground. The, we were in a dark room. It's dark, but their [00:23:00] lips like the light is on them and they're, and I wanted them to be coming towards each other. And this intimacy, there's no eyes in the photo, there's nothing else. And to me, one that makes it more artistic because it's a different viewpoint instead of just photographing at six feet back, them going in for the kiss, you know, maybe waist up.
But I think like really getting in close or really getting far away and playing around with. Where you're standing and how close you're getting. So first of all, get your three brand words. Narrow 'em down, play with that, and make sure every image you post hits those three words, because that will help you, that will help you start to develop a signature style.
The other one is very, where you're standing and how close or far away you're getting from your clients. I get really close to mine. I let 'em know I'm gonna be getting really close because to me that creates intimacy, which is what, uh, one of my words is. And then I also recommend taking the same five shots at each shoot for at least a year [00:24:00] and make them a little different. Because what that will do is you will again, develop your signature style. So one of the shots I always do, everybody does it now because it's in my profitable portfolio course.
It's fine.
Jodi: I know. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Lemme say it
D'Arcy Benincosa: Okay. Over the shoulder.
Jodi: Oh, dang
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah. Which one?
Jodi: was gonna say the one where the hands are
D'Arcy Benincosa: Oh, the hands. Yes.
Jodi: themselves. Yeah.
D'Arcy Benincosa: I call that the Michelangelo shot because it's from the Sistine Chapel. God touching Adam's finger. I just, I, I got that shot from a painting from the Sistine Chapel, and then I
Jodi: From studying art.
D'Arcy Benincosa: from studying art. And yes, everybody does that one now too.
But at the very beginning I did that one. I did one where I show a lot of leg 'cause legs. I always say choose a body part you really love and kind of accentuate it more in your photos. It will start to pull. So one of mine is legs, so I, I'll have the, I. Women like really hold her dress up high and get like that really big leg shot, the bouquet shot.
So do the same, I call it your top five. You know, I, I think I have a better name for it in [00:25:00] my course, but those five things do five shots the same in every single situation. It will start to develop a brand look and make sure they're kind of signature, not just the same shots that everybody are getting, like make them different, but do to every shoot for at least a year.
Get your three brand words. Make sure every photo you post can be said that those three brand words are what people would say about it. And make sure you're varying how far away you're standing when you're shooting, because most people get really comfortable at six feet and just shoot the whole shoot there.
And it's super boring if you do that.
Jodi: The thing is, is I've been a photographer for like 17 years and even hearing you say these things, it reminds me in my head I'm like, yeah, even here in the studio, whenever I'm shooting, like I forget, like stop being lazy. Walk in close, like get those photos too. Stand back further. Get the whole big shot.
Like instead of staying at my standard six feet, making sure that I have like the portrait that everybody would expect me to get. [00:26:00] And I think, okay. I have two thoughts here on what you just said. For one. It's funny that you said legs because somebody told me the other day they were like studying my posing, which honestly I feel like is very humbling. But she was studying my posing and she finally like sent me a dm. She's like, I think I've nailed it. I think I now understand like what it is about your posing that is so much different than other people's. And it's about the legs and like, I know everybody always talks about the hands is like, the hands are so important, the hands being relaxed, the hands being in a place that sort of land as if they have this kind of like purpose, but you can't sleep on the legs.
You guys.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm-hmm.
Jodi: have to have angles, legs have to have a purpose, legs have to, and I always talk about too, like I always drape humans on top of humans. I always love them. They almost look like they're in this like dog pile inside the studio because I want it to replicate how they would sort of like dog pile each other in their living room in that intimate space.
I want that same feeling here. And when I'm doing that, legs have to cross over each other. Like mom's legs [00:27:00] have to get like, be the base and baby's legs go over the top of those legs and they go in separate directions and they create angles in and of themselves. So that was my point. Number one, don't sleep on legs. This just went into opposing podcast, but I guess it is called posers. But the other thought that popped into my head, and I know we're gonna wrap up really soon because you gotta get going, but. as portrait photographers. I think there's this school of thought that everybody talks about. Make sure you get the frameable photo.
Make sure you stay six feet back. You get everybody looking, you get everybody smiling. And I say bullshit because that's the photo I don't want on my walls. Whenever I take photos with me and my family or of my boys, I don't want even one of those photos on my wall where everybody's standing.
Everybody's looking at the camera, the photographer's six feet back, and there's perfect amount of space around the whole entire, everybody talks. Shoot for the frame. Shoot for the frame. I don't shoot anything in my [00:28:00] studio where I'm saying shoot for the frame. I shoot for the emotion, I shoot for the connection. I shoot for the intimacy of what I want that family to feel. So those are just my two points that they, Darcy knows what she's talking about.
D'Arcy Benincosa: I will play devil's advocate on the last one, only because you're not shooting for those families. You're shooting for their grandparents who will also buy prints from you, and they always want the prompose. But I agree with you. I agree with you.
Jodi: I'll give you that.
D'Arcy Benincosa: just get like three safe shots at the beginning and then I know I've got grandparents covered.
Jodi: Agreed. I also tell them, I will make sure that I have one photo for you in case if you want that as a safety net
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm.
Jodi: your holiday card, I will work on it. I'll make sure we get it. But everybody who comes into the studio knows
D'Arcy Benincosa: I just.
Jodi: not the focus
D'Arcy Benincosa: Well,
Jodi: the
D'Arcy Benincosa: totally. Because you and personally, I think it's really powerful that you don't do that because then you're not ever putting out those safe shots. Right. And every ev people will start to come to, they already come to you so much because of those artistic [00:29:00] pilings and every, I mean, I, I know your work and I see it, and it, it really works.
And yeah, anybody can kind of get the safe shots. You know, that doesn't take a lot of artistry, which I think it's powerful when you can move away from that and not rely on it.
Jodi: Yeah, it take, it takes like a little bit of a leap of faith feeling like, no, I'm gonna trust myself as an artist, while you can still also show up and make sure you're getting what the client wants too. But Darcy, thank you so much.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Oh my gosh.
Jodi: been, I mean, not only just fun to always talk to you, but the way that your brain works is just literally every single time that I talk to you, I come away with something new and something different. And what I was gonna say at the very beginning of this podcast is the one thing that you taught me, that you taught me so well, and I don't know if you even know this or you remember this, but it was more so about like stepping into my power and like being like independent as a woman. I was just outta the divorce.
It was on that very first, not the, whenever I flew to salt Lake. It was actually before that because I was saying to you. The [00:30:00] reason why the Mastermind stuff was so hard for me was like, I'm a new single mom. I've got these three kids, like I never have time off. I'm never able to like focus on this stuff.
I can never do these things on my own. And you were the one who said to me, well, why don't you just fly up here? And or like, or maybe I said, I would have to come to you if I like, was gonna have like a three hour, like length of time that I could just like sit down and have this conversation with you.
And I was like, but I don't know whether or not my ex-husband would like ever allow it. And you said to me, you were like, why does he have to know? And I was like, what do you mean? Why does he have to know? Like I have to ask permission to leave. He has to like watch the children that we co-created together.
And you were like, yeah, but just tell him you have a wedding. And I was like, oh my God. So I'm not saying that you taught me to lie to my ex-husband,
D'Arcy Benincosa: okay with lying to ex-husbands. I'm very okay with that.
Jodi: but.
D'Arcy Benincosa: don't need to know.
Jodi: Just coming outside of all the business talk and all the editing talk and whatever. I think one of the most important things [00:31:00] that you taught me was like, get creative whenever you need to make something happen in your business. Get creative with how you're going to commit to making that happen. And you said to me too, after that, you were like, look, it sounds as though once or twice a year you're just gonna have a wedding that pops up on your calendar so that you can go take a break at a resort in California or so that you can come up here to Salt Lake and do a one-on-one with me, or so that you can like have the, because that was the only thing that my ex-husband was okay with me, like taking time away from, was that if I said, I had a wedding out of town somewhere and you were like, well, sounds like you have a wedding. And I was like, oh my God, you're a genius.
D'Arcy Benincosa: I am glad I had that idea. That makes me happy for myself that I did that. Well, I, I know we need to end, but I just wanna say what's so powerful to watch you go through that you, you were really shifting your identity. You know, you were leaving this marriage, you were now stepping into this single mom role, identity.
And I'll tell [00:32:00] you, every one of us has an identity that we are operating from, from, and if we always have the identity of, I will never, I can never put myself first, or I, I don't know when I'll have time or all of those things. It really is those subtle little shifts and you really made it work in such a beautiful way.
And look, I just love looking at where you are now. Like we can look back at that past Jodi who wasn't sure what she was gonna do or what she needed to tell her husband, and you just kept taking. Act after act. You kept taking step after step. You kept trusting after trusting. And it's never gonna be really easy for people.
It's easy to look at people who've done it and think, oh, it must have just been a straight line, or this, this is what it, it should be easy for people and it, it's really not. that is life. Life is not like super easy all the time When you're working towards something great, but it doesn't mean it has to be hard or awful.
But I, I have to say, you come on my podcast and you are the person I've invited back the most. You are my highest listened to guest. [00:33:00] Like people love you, they love your energy. You are just a natural born teacher, leader, artist. And it's so. Amazing to look at the Jodi who, you know, took the risk, flew up here, made the time even when it felt impossible, and now how you've created this new identity for yourself of this very successful photographer.
I remember when you were starting your studio and you were like, I just wanna be home with my kids on the weekend. I don't wanna miss their time home on the weekends. I'm not gonna do weddings anymore. And that was again, another moment where you're like, I'm not sure how I'm gonna make this work, but I trust myself 'cause I've made hard things work in the past and here and now.
Look, look at where you are. I love seeing you in your studio. I love looking at your logo behind you and all this beautiful things. I love that you're knocking down a wall and gonna create a new closet and you're expanding and I just, you are just an incredible human being. So I just adore you. I.
Jodi: I love it. Thank you so much. Honestly, like it was just [00:34:00] because I followed the path you had already, like blazed before me. Okay. The one thing that I want from you going forward is I want workshops from you that aren't, like, I don't wanna go do styled shoots anywhere. Like I, not what I wanna do anymore. I want workshops where like a really cool, like badass little cult of women goes to a really cool place somewhere in the world and we do all the floral classes and we eat all the food and we study all the art and we just like go for inspiration and community and all of that. And I want it led by you.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Well, why don't we just go, let's just get a group of us. I don't wanna lead that. I wanna participate. I you don't need me. Why don't we all just look at our calendar and you come join me in Italy and you and I eat pasta and we'll, you know a few other bad you. You have to be badass and we're not gonna teach you the whole time.
We're all just gonna enjoy and live La Dolce [00:35:00] Vita. But yeah.
Jodi: Okay, wait. We talked about this 'cause you reached out a few weeks ago and you asked me about my wedding venue and what it was called because you remember it from the wedding and all of that. And because you, you're teaching a workshop in Italy.
D'Arcy Benincosa: I am doing two and one's with a real wedding, so I'm only letting a few people shadow that. But she's a photographer and she, she knows the drill, but it's gonna be epic.
Jodi: Okay. What's the other one that's not based on the real wedding?
D'Arcy Benincosa: Well, we're still solidifying the venue, but it's going to be, it's going, it is going to have a style shoe. Sorry. We're gonna 'cause it, that location needs a big old Grace Kelly veil. But I am gonna teach, so what I really wanna do is recreate the class that I learned from the man who I think has since passed away.
Way back in LA which it was only $600 and I was a poor. Dude, you know, school teacher at the time and drove my little car out to LA paid $600, which felt like the worst, you know, like the [00:36:00] most money I'd ever spent. And he just was so generous and taught us all day in all these different lighting and how to shoot.
Anyway, it was just so beautiful. And I was like, what if we do more? I wanna do something more like that where it's not just like, here's how to pose a bride in a bouquet, but here's how to really capture something different. And so, and I don't wanna charge that much for it. Maybe that's bad, but I'm like, I just wanna do it for 600 bucks.
And we all just really play around. He just let us, he just let us all play and create. And he was so intentional and he would ask our thoughts like, he was such a famous man, but he just had no ego. And I've never learned better from a teacher since him. And yeah. But I know we were talking about Italy and I think you're gonna come and, I don't know, come lead a class or something at one of the workshops, maybe.
Jodi: okay? Not that we need to talk about my Google calendar here on the Posers podcast, but is that the one that is right whenever I have to be in Punana?
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yes, it's, it's the [00:37:00] one in Sicily? No, I think it's right after, like the 18th of April. But we're a little flexible on the date. We're waiting to hear back on the venue now. So, but the other wedding one is, it's May 5th or something, and that one cannot be changed.
Jodi: Okay. Because then I start to think like maybe there's a little Jay Ann meets Darcy, Ben and Cosa World, where we both go over there together and we both bring like a group of women
D'Arcy Benincosa: do that.
Jodi: want to come over, learn wedding side from you learn portrait side from me. And maybe there's a style shoot even though I don't wanna do a style shoot, but like maybe there's all of that world.
But then also we're taking like Italian cooking
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm-hmm.
Jodi: and we're like taking the train, going over to Rome is close by there. Right? Rome is closest to Sicily.
D'Arcy Benincosa: No, Rome is not, but we could, we could still do it up in Tuscany area. 'cause I think we should actually go to Verona and go to Venice at sunrise and not do a styled shoot. But we should all go, like, just walk. I love [00:38:00] walking the cities at Sunrise. I, one of my favorite walks in my life was London at 5:00 AM in the summer.
It's really bright. So Yeah. We should do, we, but Verona is really understated and nobody does that. But we can, we can, we should talk.
Jodi: I've, I've, I've never been to Venice. I've only done like Lake Como chin, tere Amalfi, obviously getting married there, Positano, like that whole thing. And then Rome.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm-hmm.
Jodi: uh, my, my entire life's purpose is to see every single part of it,
D'Arcy Benincosa: Mm-hmm.
Jodi: there, like, we'll do a little mashup.
I will bring portrait people, you will bring wedding people, and we'll just have like a little cult of women who wanna do like really incredible things.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Let's do it. I'm gonna be there all month. I might stay too. I don't know. That's the joy of being a photographer. You can just go and live wherever you want. Benefit not having children, okay, has to be pers
Jodi: exactly, because those children that I have, I said something to somebody the other day and it's [00:39:00] a little bit like, I don't know out there, but I was like, you know, I'm not nursing my children anymore, like physically like nursing them as newborn children. But for some reason I still feel as though they are leeched onto me for food. Like they're leached onto me for the Costco
D'Arcy Benincosa: right.
Jodi: I'm like, how do I cut these ties? How do I get away from you? And I think the, not away from you, I love my children, but I think the answer to this is to go to Italy
D'Arcy Benincosa: I think it's to go to Italy. Yeah. Because my sister had, I remember when her two boys became teenagers and we went to Costco and what she was putting in her cart and she was spending $400 a week just to feed these two boys. I just thought, what is happening? She's like, this is how much they eat. I thought, oh
Jodi: it literally is.
D'Arcy Benincosa: mind blowing.
Jodi: think that I spend, I, I think that I spend about $600 per week
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah, yeah,
Jodi: because I have three teenage boys
D'Arcy Benincosa: yeah.
Jodi: is nuts. And
D'Arcy Benincosa: per kid.
Jodi: full, [00:40:00] like I actually joke around about not being a very good cook, but I do make very, like, good dinners every single night. And will eat through piles and piles and piles of food to where I think that I made enough for 12 people.
And they're like, mom is there anymore? Mom is there
D'Arcy Benincosa: my gosh.
Jodi: oh my God. Like, where is it going?
D'Arcy Benincosa: don't know the, the gift of the youth, I don't know.
Jodi: they're just, but they're also all very into working out. They all like
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah.
Jodi: and eat protein and
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yep.
Jodi: they're men.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Yeah. You're raising men.
Jodi: It's so off brand for me to like three of them, honestly.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Oh, you're so.
Jodi: We're gonna hop off of this. We're gonna plan Italy. We're gonna see whether or not we can make that happen. Where, tell me before we jump off, what can I put in the show notes for you? I'm obviously putting your editing course a link to that in the show notes. I'm gonna put a link to your portfolio course also because that I [00:41:00] think is almost like the core of who you are and what else can, what else does everybody need to know and where can they find you?
D'Arcy Benincosa: Well, I'll give you guys the brand words because I think that will be really, really helpful. So maybe we can put a link to the brand words in the show notes so everybody can do that and do their little brand exercise. And then, yeah, the nice thing is, is there's only one Darcy Ben Cosa, like the, the URL, the website.
All of it is just me. If you can spell it, it's very Italian means a good thing. It's very Italian, so if you can spell that, you'll, you'll find me.
Jodi: Darcy. That is all honestly so smart. Honestly, whenever I was driving here today, I thought in my head I was like, you know what, Darcy freaking did it right? Because her entire name is just your business name, your website, your brand, everything. Because I'm in this struggle right now where like my business is JN photography, but then the podcast is posers and the posing method should technically be under the it.
It's a mess. Do you hear the mess that I've created that like, I'm like, okay, do I need to change [00:42:00] my Instagram to posers or do I start a new
D'Arcy Benincosa: No,
Jodi: Instagram? Or like how do it's,
D'Arcy Benincosa: just everything under Jay.
Jodi: out. Do everything under your name.
D'Arcy Benincosa: It helps.
Jodi: okay. I love you infinitely and
D'Arcy Benincosa: Thank you.
Jodi: the pieces and I'm just so excited to see where you're going with all of this because not only have you watched me grow, but watching you freaking like take on the world.
I just, I continue to be in awe. So thank you for taking some time to like talk with us today.
D'Arcy Benincosa: Thank you.
Jodi: I love it.
Episode Outro: Okay. And there it is. I could talk to Darcy for hours. Honestly, I have actually, and I hope you have loved every single second of the time that we got to spend with her here on the podcast. But here's the kicker. This conversation isn't just staying on the podcast. We dropped a little surprise in here.
Darcy and I are planning to teach together in Italy, pasta, art portraiture. Wedding genius on her side. Portrait [00:43:00] genius on my side. A cult of badass women coming together and obviously a lot of Prosecco. So keep your I open for that because my fingers are crossed that it is happening. We are trying to work out some dates.
Even after we got off that podcast, we both went straight to our Google calendars, so. we don't have any of that infrastructure built yet, but obviously keep an eye out because that will be happening in the near future to say the least. So in the meantime, go check out the links in the show notes for her editing course, her portfolio course.
And of course, she is gifting to you the brand word bank and you need a. All of those things you guys. And then obviously come back here next week with your tits up and your ears open because, we're gonna keep on building together.
Outro: Okay, so that is a wrap on this episode of the Posers Podcast. If you loved it, please subscribe, rate, and review because honestly, algorithms are needier than all of our ex-boyfriends combined. And [00:44:00] ladies, I need all the help I can get. If you've got thoughts, questions, love letters, even hate mail, please send them my way.
I actually read every single one of them. So until next time, stapled, stay messy and don't let the bullshit win. Tits up. Ears open and go build something. Incredible. Bye for now, friends.
